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Humor

IT Haikus

Most IT professionals will find a personal, and sometimes even painful meaning in these haikus. Continue reading

Humor: Spoofed Holiday Music

In the Spirit of the Holidays, I like to share a little humor with some of the funniest Holiday Music spoofs. Now, be careful before playing these Holiday tunes at work or around sensitive ears, as they might find these tunes inappropriate or even offensive. Continue reading

Humor: Don’t Tell Me How To Do My Job!

I made this sign for a friend who gets frustrated when people try to tell him how to do his job. He grins and bears it for the benefit of the customer, but in his thoughts, it's a different story. Continue reading

Humor: Michigan Sobriety Test

A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles north of the Michigan/Indiana State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Ft. Wayne , IN to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn’t want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. He told the trooper… Continue reading

Video: The “Java Life” Rap Music Video

This original rap music video made for JavaOne 2011 celebrates the “Java Life”. Dedicated to the developer homies everywhere who code hard day and night. Think Java programmers meet street Hip Hop.

Humor: the Red Binder

There are times when additional support is necessary to get through a grueling day at work. Here’s one suggestion…

A Master Reference binder has been created for all who may need to reference it. Inside this binder you will find ‘solutions’ to everyday problems.

 

If you are having problems with the photocopier, having difficulty dealing with co-workers, having computer problems…please come and get the red binder and it will help you through your issue. You may refer to the red binder as often as you wish.

Use the red binder for all issues…it is guaranteed to make you stress-free and relaxed.

Humor: Dirty Dishes

A man is in a position to buy a Harley Davidson, and after much consideration opts for a very nice model. The salesman is very pleased and offers the man a few words of advice. He tells him to always carry a jar of Vaseline in his pocket and if he knows it is going to rain to smear the Vaseline all over the bodywork of the bike in order to prevent rust. The man drives his Harley off and is most pleased.

That night, the man and his girlfriend drive the Harley to her parents house… Continue reading

Humor: Baby names

A lady pregnant with twins gets into a bad car accident. She wakes up to discover that she is in a  hospital. Panicking, she buzzes for the nurse, who comes running to assist her. The nurse tell her that she is going to be OK, and that she had been in a car accident.

The lady, still panicking, demands to know if her babies are OK. the nurse tells her that they are fine, and that she had a boy and a girl. Relieved, the new mother realizes that she hasn’t named her babies yet. The… Continue reading

LEGO Lord of the Rings – All Cutscenes

Just when you thought, “Oh God, not another Lord of the Rings movie” or maybe, “Oh God! Another Lord of the Rings movie! Yeah!”, here comes the LEGO Lord of the Rings – All Cutscenes. An hour and thirty-one minutes of riveting, butt-clinching LEGO action. It just doesn’t get any better than this folks.

Humor: No Drama Warning Sign

 

No time or tolerance for other people’s drama? Well, this sign is for you! This print-ready sign will let friends and co-workers know to take their drama somewhere else, or maybe just to leave it at home. This No Drama sign is printable in standard 8.5 by 11 paper.

 

Click here for a Printable PDF version (Requires Adobe Reader or equivalent)

 

On a Serious Note:

The workplace is no place for drama, personal or otherwise. Drama creates a hostile work environment and hampers productivity. If drama is fluent in your work … Continue reading

Humorous Baby Instructions

It is unfortunate that parenting does not come better documented to help prepare new parents-to-be prepare for their new child. So I put together this collection of valuable Do’s and Don’ts that every new parent needs to know to insure a happy and healthy parent-baby relationship. Yes, I know, this is a little twisted, but who knows, it could may just possibly someday in some alter reality, save a life. I can only hope.

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Humor: Honey it’s me!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club when a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk….

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”

WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s $2,000. Can I buy it?”

MAN: “OK, go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2011 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: How much?”

WOMAN: $95,000.

MAN: “For… Continue reading

Humor: Price of gas in France

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' Continue reading

Humor: Points to Ponder

Just another worthless, but humorous list of nonsense to ponder:

  1. One tequila, Two tequila, Three tequila, Floor
  2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
  3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  5. I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the “Self-Help” section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  7. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his hands… Continue reading

Humor: Household tips

Just a few down-to-earth and sensible house-hold tips to help get you through the day. (Humor) Continue reading

Humor: Southern Etiquette

There were three southern belles on the front lawn of a plantation. The first belle says "see my diamond necklace? My beau gave it to me, because he’s rich and he loves me" the second belle gushes over the jewel and the third says "That's nice." Continue reading

Humor: Hunting Bear

John went out hunting bear. After a few hours in the woods, he spotted a huge bear, took aim, fired, and missed. The bear became quite angry, and chased John down and knocked him to the ground. the bear destroyed John’s rifle, and then violated John in a sexual way.

Furious, John vowed to get that bear, even if it was the last thing he ever did. John bought a more powerful rifle and went back to the woods to find the bear. When John found the bear, he took aim and fired his rifle, and again,… Continue reading

Amazing Halloween House Display

I have seen a lot of really cool Halloween decorations, but this wins the trophy. I would love to see how this was set up!

Humor: Homemade Pumpkin Pie!

Ever wonder how homemade pumpkin pie is made? Well, it starts with fresh pumpkin..... Continue reading

Humor: Why Parents Drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick. So he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. ‘Hello? ‘

‘Is your daddy home?’ ‘Yes, he’s out in the garden,’ whispered the small voice. ‘May I talk with him?’ The child whispered, ‘ No .’ So the boss asked, ‘Well, is your Mommy there?’ ‘Yes, she’s out in the garden too’ & The boss asked; ‘May I talk with her?’ Again the small voice whispered, ‘No.’

Hoping there was somebody with whom… Continue reading

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