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IT Haikus

Most IT professionals will find a personal, and sometimes even painful meaning in these haikus.


It is Friday now
No users on the morrow
happy deadpool time

This is the helpdesk
Please reboot before you call
I’m done, that was all

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

Is the internet down
Can you browse to Google
Then it’s not down

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order will return

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone

Please, all you users
Leave me alone today, jeez
It is Friday man

A Blue Screen Of Death
It doesnt make the tech blue
more like red instead

Our Exchange is whack
ActiveSync Causing problems
Damn Apple Products

Don’t reboot servers
I’d rather not have to work
More than I do now

On my own all week
Computers understand me
Not so much users

big network outtage.
but I have diarrhea.
I pooped a little

Small, though it may seem
My datacenter, tiny
Has too many lights

5 syllables here
7 more syllables there
Is this a haiku?

Friday, It is here
Do Computers get time off?
No, Get back to work!

Don’t click unsubscribe!
You’re going to get more spam.
Too late *sigh* I quit

Users Like to say
“I know you told me this,
But oops, I forgot!”

The Day is Friday
The clock says four fifty eight
Ring Ring goes the phone

servers are on fire?
how awful! why would you ask why
my hands smell like gas?

“of course this won’t break prod!”
standard filthy vendor lies.
death’s too good for you!

What a super word that is
Takes five syllables

Add many users,
PEBKAC becomes your montra,
Sanity Maintained.

A man, deep in thought
IT was what troubled him
Users were his pain

If you are not nice
I map num lock key to be
Close no save macro

I got into this
Field ‘cause I thought computers
Were simpler than folk

In many ways I
Was right, but I still have to
Deal with stupid folks

I am a cynic
I wasn’t always this way
IT made me so

What’s up with SharePoint?
All I did was change one thing!
Ugh. Working on it…

A Windows system
Turn it off and on again
I thought you knew this!

Ticket was opened
Ignored and long forgotten
All is loneliness.

Cannot find the mail
Server has just one message
Abort, Retry, Fail?

My laptop don’t work
I spilled tea all over it
How fast can you fix?

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